Uncle Betty

Say your prayers and don't you fight

Uncle Betty's going to babysit tonight

And if you mind your p's and q's

Uncle Betty might have a surprise for you

With his long nails and platinum curls

Three days beard and string of pearls

Don't understand it the least little bit

But Uncle Betty's our favorite

While Momma and Daddy play grown-up games

Uncle Betty will keep us entertained

A puppet show or a whirlybird

You never know what he's got under his skirt

When I asked Daddy he laughed and roared

"Was Uncle Betty in the war?"

Momma tittered and fluttered her hands

Saying "Some day, darling, you'll understand"

Uncle Betty lives all alone

The children tease him and throw their stones

He bleeds and he hurts and he wipes his eyes

And he walks on home with his head held high

All God's creatures, great and small,

The good book affirms He loves us all

And when we hear those heels on the stairs

We know God has answered our prayers