Vaudeville

Great big lizard, it walked upright,

Heavy as a freight train shakin' the night,

Head the size of a Datsun ZX,

Bore the name Tyrannosaurus Rex,

Now they found the bones layin' the phone line down.

Three workmen stood in the width of its jaws,

Hookin' up phones among the teeth and the claws,

"To whom do you wish to speak," the operator inquired,

And soon the word was all over the wires,

How they found the bones layin' the phone line down.

The county coroner and the local p.d.

And a white-coated team from the university

Labeled the bones, roped off the site,

And saw the story on the news that night

How they found the bones layin' the phone line down.

And they said, "Here's to you, Tyrant Lizard King,

You could knock the shit out of any livin' thing.

When I was a boy you were a hero to me,

Wreaking havoc upon the dawn of history.

Now they found the bones layin' the phone line down."

The late late movie came on in time

Showed him back when he was in his prime

Making big money out in Hollywood,

Oh, the weather was warm and the pay was good,

And time was when it never seemed it could end.

Teenage cavemen on a wild weekend.

Raquel Welch wrapped in animal skins,

Weary time travellers come and gone,

Flushin' him out of the Amazon,

Oh time was when it never seemed it could end.

The Japanese came out to make a stand,

Sent in Godzilla, Mothra and Rodan,

They worked for less, efficiency plus,

None of the people seemed to put up a fuss,

But time was when it never seemed it could end.

And we said, "Here's to you, Tyrant Lizard King.

You could knock the shit out of any livin' thing.

When I was a boy you were a hero to me,

Wreaking havoc upon the dawn of history.

Oh time was when it never seemed it could end.

But seeing you tell on private property,

Mom and Pop concocted this scheme,

Called it Dinosaur Ranch out on Highway Nine,

Educational, fun, just follow the signs,

And come with us back to the ice age again.

See the flint axe points and the buffalo hides,

Gila monsters in formaldehyde,

A pit full of sidewinders tightly wound,

And Indian mummies from the burial mound.

Oh come with us back to the ice age again.

And right out front, lasso 'round his neck,

Stood the day-glo painted bones of Tyrannosaurus Rex.

I'm sorry to see it's come down to this,

'Neath a cardboard cowboy six-shooters in his fists,

Sayin' "Come with us back to the ice age again."

And I said, "Here's to you, Tyrant Lizard King.

You could knock the shit out of any livin' thing.

When I was a boy you were a hero to me,

Wreaking havoc upon the dawn of history.

Oh come with us back to the ice age again.